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  • I need an advice

    First of all, please give a logical answer and a reason because what I choose will determine my future

    Okay, here goes..
    I'm a 2nd grader student in high school. I'm quite well known in my high school because of my smartness and kindness. And because of that, I have many friends with 2nd and 3rd grader

    In my school, solidarity in generation is the most special thing, that no other school in my city have. My seniors taught solidarity in my generation, although most of them taught by seniority. But this made my generation in high school different than when I'm in junior high and elementary. We hang out together, face problems together, cheat on test together, and else.

    Recently, my mom told me that there's a scolarship program in Singapore. I already told my mom that I'm not interested but she insisted me to apply. I've already submitted my report card from 1st grade to 2nd grade. I was hoping that I wouldn't be accepted, but unfortunately I passed.

    Tomorrow, the 2nd selection will occur. It will be math and science written test + english oral test.

    If I pass again, I'll have 3rd selection on September and I will leave for Singapore on January if I pass the 3rd selection. The problem is, I can't just leave my friends here in Indonesia. Like I've told you before, my friends here in my school is like a brother to me. It's hard for me to leave my friends behind. I've planned to fail the tests on purpose tomorrow. But I can't just do that without thinking. My mom depends on me to get that scholarship

    I have some problem with my personality that I find it hard to bring to Singapore :
    - I'm a down-to-earth type of guy. I always buy cheap stuffs and hardly buy something more than Rp 50.000 / around 4$-5$ (If more than that, I wouldn't buy it). Living in Singapore will be hard since everyting there is quite expensive
    - I never say hello to someone new, I only wait for them to say hello to me
    - Everything there is original, very hard to find imitation stuffs (I love imitation stuffs, they're cheap <-- refer to down-to-earth type of guy)
    - Quite hard to adapt to a new environment and new laws

    If you fellow readers were me, will you :
    1. Accept the scolarship, leave your friends behind
    2. Stay with your friends, but cancel your scolarship

    I don't know what option will be the best, since both of them have it's positive and negative

    Sincerely,
    K3V1N557
    Last edited by K3V1N557; 08-08-14, 03:42 PM.

  • #2
    Well my choice would be number 2.

    You have many friends already, so i think it's too late to move to singapore for school, i know that scholarship might changes your future in hope of your parents that you might be a well and better success person, but if that's not what your motive and you have reason that you don't like it, just don't, as soon even if you get a better school you wont feel comfortable, i have similar personality like you (but not having many friends like you) so i can know well, you seems to be a special person around your friend, also as you worried that you wont get friend like what you have now that will make you an individual person there, school is not just about learning, but having friends that will help you anytime, as soon you passed without friend helps you will find it hard how to do things alone.

    But lets think about what next if you do it, your parents and maybe also your teachers that know about this will probably feel disappointed, but all you have to do is to be honest with them, including yourself, you have to be yourself. Not everytime a good chance lead you to better thing.

    I'm not really comparing about school In singapore and here, i do know that school here are boring , especially with the new curiculum (if your school using it) where many students didn't like it, and school in singapore is better, but it's fun to be with friends even sometimes with some teachers, it's not just your school where it has great solidarity (i live at South Tangerang, but school at Jakarta), but my school do have too, although not really same, however thats all doesn't mean you wont have chance to be success person.

    However, i doubt if you did fail on the next test that will also make you fail on the scholarship, when that happen, you can cancel it by pleasing to your mom that you don't want it, as soon it became drama, you might need help from other person like your dad, your other family member which are experienced this, or even your friends also consult it to your teachers, you might get different answer depends on the 2 choices, also go do inspection and double think whats good/bad on both choice, but after then if you are thinking to accept either first or second option in final then it's not really bad to do so, just pray that what you select will be good way for you.

    But if you select option #1, then you should have prepare yourself and you should change, start getting new friends there without forgetting or leaving your old friend and then you'll get used with it.

    p.s. Singapore < Jakarta !
    aw you are currently offline, you might missed this message :\
    Last edited by Robo; 08-08-14, 04:44 PM.
    KVIrc User

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    • #3
      Well. The thing is that, friends are not real trust-able. They can cheat whenever they want, so do not trust anyone else.
      I would recommend you to go for your future studies if you wanna be something in your life, friends won't help you bringing money for your family, they have to control their own domestic circumstances. This is the time that you should move on and make your future bright. If you will keep following, roaming with your friends. You'll sure waste your time! They aren't going anywhere else, you can be in connect through social networking. After the completion of studies, everyone would be on their jobs instead of roaming with friends, surely they will make a time for friends but not 24/7.

      Go for Singapore, make your parents happy.. As you said, you're a like student. So you must go ahead for studies. Every mom wanted his/her child to be a good man!

      If you just can't stay away from your mother/friends. Then you can say to your mom to let you stay there. If you're determined yourself that you can study in Singapore peacefully then you should move out. If you think you can't. Then you can't.
      Last edited by SpiderWeb; 08-08-14, 04:12 PM.
      Need new haters, the old one started to love me!

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      • #4
        It's actually nice that I've been in the same situation as you. Well, here's my opinion:

        1. Accept the scholarship, leave your friends behind
        Leaving your friends behind doesn't need to be that you'll have to ignore them for the rest of your life. Nowadays, its easy to interact with your current and old friends via social networking sites (such as Facebook, Skype, etc.), so I guess this would be a good medium communicate and say hello to them. If you have time during your vacation (which I'm sure you will), you can just get some time to visit them back home.

        I never say hello to someone new, I only wait for them to say hello to me
        There are different types of people around the world, I highly doubt that you'll meet someone with the same approach as you do. You just need to overcome this type of shyness by establishing yourself, by being who you are. Someone will always pair up with you not just because of your mutual interests, but probably because they love being around with you. Starting out with one isn't really bad as a circle between two friends can usually expand with more. All you have to do is be comfortable enough with them. There's nothing wrong with making new friends. Yeah sure not everyone will like you but this is no good reason to change yourself and make yourself feel uncomfortable/awkward.

        My mom depends on me to get that scholarship.
        Now, here's where reality kicks in. Your mom probably believes that you'll be able to uphold your (current and soon to be) family into a higher state, hence she won't be hesitant to let you try out that scholarship program. It's either to let you have a better future and/or at least try to save up a little money to pass onto you for the future.

        I always buy cheap stuffs and hardly buy something more than Rp 50.000 / around 4$-5$ (If more than that, I wouldn't buy it).
        This is a really good personality to have as it helps you learn about budgeting.

        Living in Singapore will be hard since everything there is quite expensive. Everything there is original, very hard to find imitation stuffs (I love imitation stuffs, they're cheap <-- refer to down-to-earth type of guy)
        I doubt that everything there would be expensive. There will always be that part of town wherein you'll be able to get something a little bit cheaper which can help you in budgeting. That imitation stuff is quite nice, but it would be better if you find a little bit something more durable, it doesn't always have to be imitated from a certain brand.

        Quite hard to adapt to a new environment and new laws.
        There's still a lot of room and time to learn. Adapting to a new environment is a good foundation for you to learn and be independent. It helps you make important life changing decisions and consider all the aspects that can affect your decisions.

        Overall, there's nothing wrong in trying out something new. Wouldn't you rather do something a little more different each day rather than doing something else over and over again?

        Anyways, this is just my opinion. Regardless of which decisions you'll choose - never think of regret as life is continuous, and will always improve. There's no risk of losing anything but rather, gaining something new.

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        • #5
          First, If I were you I would accept the scolarship (and not leaving your friends behind), I just don't see a reasonable cause says that you have to leave your friends when you go for that scolarship, just like mentioned above many times, you can communicate with them via social network sites...

          Trust me you should go for it! it's your chance!
          You know what? I had an opposite situation of yours, there was a scholarship to many different countries such as (USA, UKD, Norway, Italy, France, and others) I would go to any of them.. depends on my result in the written test, and as long as I wanted to go for it! but I failed in the Intelligence quotient test, my parents didn't want me to go for it! but I wanted to.. and I insisted on taking the written test (JUST to achieve my goals, that to be a successful person).
          The moral of my story is that: you do what you always want/or what you see it's suitable and convenient for you.
          However, if you just like that scholarship, but just don't want it just for your friends, I advise you to go.
          You should go for it not only to make your mom happy but also to be proud of yourself.

          I always buy cheap stuffs and hardly buy something more than Rp 50.000 / around 4$-5$ (If more than that, I wouldn't buy it).
          That's good (for me) that means you're an economist person and that gonna help you there to save more money.

          Living in Singapore will be hard since everything there is quite expensive
          Umm I just thought that daily goth from their own money, or If not, i just thought it's fortified (more cheaper) for students like you.

          Quite hard to adapt to a new environment and new laws.
          At this point, I think It's laws will not be very different from your countrys' laws, as every country has got the same laws (fundamental laws) so you will not have to adapt to them, as you already knew it.

          I've planned to fail the tests on purpose tomorrow. But I can't just do that without thinking. My mom depends on me to get that scholarship
          Do NOT fail at the exam tomorrow, don't disappoint your mom, be optimistic about your incoming future, and GO FOR IT! and make your best to pass the exam.
          Good luck on whatever you gonna do next,
          best wishes.
          Last edited by Taz; 08-08-14, 07:59 PM.

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          • #6
            Strangely I can give u quick inside of a similar story from a perspective most can't give you. We had a chance to move to Greece years ago, and well I was in your position, and didn't want to live all my friends and classmates. So finally we decide to stay. Well it was a poor choice for two reasons:
            1. It was a country with a very high standard of life so life would be much more easier there
            2. The very same friends live all over my country in that matter all over the world so I barely have a chance to see them from time to time. Mostly through social networks.

            It may seem a bit harsh but friends come and go and you have a real chance to better your life through better education so choose yourself. And you are much younger than me and will adapt easier than me so don't hesitate to go.
            Last edited by Seven_of_Nine; 08-08-14, 06:46 PM.
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